Tamar and Ariel joined everyone at the circle of log stumps for devotions the next morning. Jason sat beside Mr. Cowell. Nobody made reference to the previous day’s experiences. And Ariel didn’t really want to talk about it with Tamar. Already it was starting to become less real anyway. Surely, angels hadn’t saved them.
Ariel sighed and giggled into Tamar’s ear. “I hope Jason stays the rest of the week.”
“If we break his leg I bet that would work.”
Ariel actually seemed to consider this, then she scowled. “No. He’d have to spend the rest of the week in the hospital.”
Tamar chuckled and sat on a stump next to Faye.
Faye smiled. “Feeling alright today?”
Tamar nodded, remembering her near fall once more and shivered. The air was a little chilly, so she had an excuse to be shivering.
Mr. Cowell jutted a thumb at Jason. “Everyone, this is Jason. He’s been backpacking across the states and is going to spend the rest of the week with us.”
Ariel sighed just a bit too loudly.
Tamar suppressed a laugh.
Mr. Cowell motioned for everyone to go around and introduce themselves to Jason. Declan started, “Hey, Jason. Nice to have you with us. I’m Declan.”
Everyone went around, offering their names with warmness.
When it was Ariel’s turn she beamed, tilted her head, bit her lip, then said, “So nice to have you with us! I’m Ariel.”
Smooth. How did she do it?
Once everyone finished, Jason spoke. His voice was deep with a New York accent, and admittedly gorgeous. “Thanks for letting me be a part of this,” Jason said. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to a church activity before.”
“Have you been to church before? “Rayne bluntly asked.
Jason, unoffended, said, “Nope. Never been my thing.”
“So you don’t follow God?” Faye asked, sounding sad.
“Yeah—no. Never been a fan of religious stuff. Not to say I’m uninvolved though. I’m very passionate about life and spirituality.”
“Oh?” Mr. Cowell asked. “How so?”
“I’m very worried about global warming and how humanity is destroying nature. I think it’s unfair of us to treat the innocent world as if she’s just something to be used by us, then discarded when we find something we like better in technology.”
Several giggles passed through the youth showing just what they thought of how he cared about the world.
Before anyone else (or Rayne) could say anything rash, Mr. Cowell said, “Actually as Christians we mostly agree with you. We believe that God gave man Earth to take care of, not destroy. But many men that do not follow God live life selfishly, and thus do not fulfill their purpose.”
“Hmm. Interesting.”
Yet Rayne would have her say. “But global warming is a myth, you know. It’s totally not happening.”
Jason scowled. “How can you say that? Just look around you, the climate is in a tumult of change”
Tamar followed Jason’s waving hands, and observed the world around her, trying to perceive this beautiful forest through the lenses of a doomsdayer. She was thankful for doing so, because just at that moment a huge glob of tapioca came flying toward her face. She stifled a squeal and moved in time for it to sail past her without touching her.
Rayne said “I do see around me… I see beautiful, healthy trees and water. Sure it’s summer, but I also know we have freezing cold winters, And that some parts of the world are so cold that they never get hot—”
“Yeah, and did you know that those places are diminishing in size as the world heats up?”
Rayne tossed her curls. “That’s because they weren’t originally frozen, and aren’t meant to be now either. That part of the world is dead right from the world being destroyed when God covered the Earth in a flood to destroy all mankind because of their evil ways—”
Jason stirred. “You believe He did that?”
Declan nodded, laughing, probably trying to thaw the mood. “Man, you’ve probably heard of it. Noah’s flood?”
“Oh, yeah.” Jason said, suddenly unimpressed again.
“The flood messed with Earth’s atmosphere, and afterward there was an ice age of sorts, which left parts of the world frozen, and it’s still recuperating to this day. It’s also why the world is experiencing earthquakes and volcanoes and tornadoes and such.”
“Wow you people are crazy,” Jason said.
Jason was the one arguing with a fifteen year old girl, Tamar wanted to point out… But she was still new to this group, and didn’t quite have enough bearings to be so brash.
Mr. Cowell cleared his throat. “Maybe we should get on to our devotions.”
Rayne smiled, not seeming guilty or awkward. She would make a good lawyer, Tamar decided.
Jason, on the other hand, appeared mad and ready to tear everyone apart unless they admitted global warming was real.
“Today, we are going to talk about being of one mind,” Mr. Cowell said. “We’ll start with some questions to reflect on while we read. Does being of one mind we all think exactly alike? Does this unity allow for diverse personalities and even opinions?”
Laughter rippled through the group.
“Turn to Philippians 2:2.”
Once devotions were finished, Jason acted a lot happier. Ariel, forgetting Tamar, ran over to his side and asked him, “Been finding your way around here just fine?”
The man shrugged. “Yeah, I’d say so.”
“Here, let me show you where the cafeteria is. Are you hungry?”
Tamar was forgotten and abandoned. She watched her friend disappear, a little peeved at being left behind. She tried not to care as she rose from her stump and turned to walk alone.
Declan emerged behind her. “Mind if I walk with you?”
Tamar’s heart fluttered. She forced herself not to smile—if she did all of her guts would spill out in silly, immature giggles and incoherent words. “That’s fine.” But then… everything came out sounding so mean. Ugh, she should have forced herself to smile just a little.
Declan stuffed his hands into his pocket. Okay, so he wasn’t going to hold her hand to the cafeteria. Well, good. She supposed. She laced her hands behind her back, then fell into step beside him.
The rest of the youth engulfed Tamar and Declan. She winced in disappointment, but was also relieved. They weren’t to be alone, but at least she could breathe again.
Declan seemed unperturbed. He cleared his throat, as if having something to say. And then he said, “We’re worried about your soul, Tamar. Do you mind if we talk to you?”
Well, she wasn’t expecting that. And here she was thinking he might be about to actually like her. “Uh… sure?”
“Have you ever considered following God and accepting His son’s gift of salvation to pay for your sins?”
Tamar stopped walking, made eye contact with Declan, too stunned to be shy. He was totally serious. Like how? Her grandpa was the one that reformed this church and he was trying to evangelize her? Tamar searched all the other faces. Gretchen looked down, away, as if awkward but totally in on what was going, and approving. Faye bit her lip, and shuffled her hands in and out of her hoodie pockets. Cameron messed with his glasses, blowing steam into them. Rayne stared straight back at Tamar, as if trying to encourage Tamar to search her soul and admit that it was empty.
Where was the joke?
Declan cleared his throat. “I’m sorry if this is a bit awkward. I’m sincerely worried about you… about your soul.”
“Declan,” Tamar said. “I believe in God. I’ve always loved him. There’s no need to worry about my soul.”
“You can’t just love God. You have to accept Jesus’ forgiveness and repent of your sins.”
Was he judging her for being mad at her mother and family? Sure, that was wrong, but it didn’t mean that she was going to hell. “Seriously? Guys. I’m Tamar Geil, daughter of Hank Geil. I read my Bible, I honor the Sabbath day. And I love doing all of it.”
“Works don’t save you,” Declan muttered.
She hit her forehead. “Wow. Yes, I know that. But I was just saying… I don’t even know what I was saying now… like, you guys, this is crazy. I’m a christian.”
“Calm down,” Rayne said, a little softer than normal. “We aren’t trying to attack you. We just want to help you be honest with yourself so you’ll go to Heaven.”
“Guys. I am being honest. I do love God with all of my heart, mind, and soul, and I’m not going to hell and I don’t know why you guys would be so mean as to think I am.”
“Tamar…” Declan said.
Tamar crossed her arms. She was done with crushes and church camp friends — except Ariel. Hopefully Ariel wasn’t done with her, though. Tamar pushed through the group of kids and stormed away.
They called after her, but she ignored them. Tamar caught sight of her family walking out of their cabin. Before any of the other youth could say anything else to her, she ran straight to her family.
Her mom smiled at her, “How was devotions?”
It was good to be alive and to walk next to her mother, she decided, and not with the others. “Fine,” Tamar answered, not ready to share about the kids confronting her.
It was too humiliating and betraying. How could they assume such a thing? And just when she thought they were all getting along.
A thought terrified her. What if they saw something she didn’t? What if she was going to hell? What if? How could she know if she was actually written in God’s book?
Tamar asked her Grandpa, “Grandpa, how can we actually know if we’re going to heaven? I mean, how do we know personally that our faith matches our works, and we aren’t just deceiving ourselves?”
Mom squinted down at Tamar.
Grandpa chuckled. “Well that’s a deep question for this early morning. Does it have anything to do with yesterday’s escapade?”
Tamar shrugged. “Maybe.”
“Where’s your desire, Tamar? To follow what you want, or what God wants?”
Tamar searched herself before answering. “I want only to please God, but sometimes I fail and do what I don’t want to do. Actually a lot.”
Grandpa chuckled again, “that reminds me of Paul’s words in Romans 7:15-20. Remember that passage?”
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do… it is not I, but sin living in me.” Tamar thought about the verses. They made sense now like they hadn’t before. But it still didn’t answer her question. “But how do I know?”
“Our faith is proved by our works, Tamar. When a young man came to our Messiah, he asked Him what he might do to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. He was told to sell all he had… Tamar, are you willing to give up everything to follow God?”
Tamar thought about it, and then nodded.
“We are told the greatest commandments are to love God first, and then our fellow man. Do you love, and are you learning to love more everyday?”
Tamar said, “I think I’m trying.”
Grandpa patted Tamar’s shoulder. “It’s good to continually search our hearts and make sure we are in tune with God. But never live in fear, Tamar. Live fully in love with God, and you’ll draw so close to Him that doubting will become something of the past.”
Tamar nodded. “Thanks, Grandpa.”
“Now, let’s get some breakfast.”
Inside the cafeteria, Ariel stood by a distant wall, apparently having lost Jason to a group of married couples. Tamar approached her.
Ariel perked up. “Hey.”
“Hey,” Tamar returned.
“You look weirded out…” Ariel said. “I hope you don’t mind that I got twitterpated?”
“I am… It’s not that though. It’s a long story.”
Ariel nodded, understanding. “We need our own table. Will your mom let you sit with me today?”
Tamar shrugged.
Ariel didn’t wait for further speculation. She turned around and went and asked Mrs. Geil. Mom looked at Tamar a long moment before consenting.
Ariel and Tamar waited at the back of the line behind Tamar’s family. Silently they filled their tray with oatmeal, fruits, and nuts. Ariel fidgeted in line, and side glanced to where Jason sat. Tamar groaned. “Ariel, he’s too old.”
Ariel jabbed Tamar in the ribs. “Who cares, it hurts nobody.”
They got their silverware, then picked a secluded table near the boxed fans.
“So?” Ariel asked, biting into a piece of toast.
“So. The youth group is acting weird. They just let me know they are worried about my soul and tried to “save” me.”
Ariel coughed. She dropped her toast and spit what was in her mouth, out onto her napkin. .
“I told them I was all right… I love God and I’m fairly certain I’m saved. But they weren't convinced for some reason.”
“They’ve done the same to me,” Ariel said. “One of the many reasons we aren’t all that close.”
“Oh. Wow. But why would they do it?”
“They think they are super smart, I guess?” Ariel shrugged as if it was their loss, not hers.
That didn’t take away the sting. Tamar moved her food around on her plate, but didn’t take a bite. She wasn’t hungry. She wanted to cry. Over people she didn’t even really know, true. But she was just starting to love it here.
“How am I going to get through the rest of this week?” Tamar asked.
Ariel shrugged. “I have to do it every year. At least we have each other.”
Yes, at least she had a friend to help combat the awkwardness. She tried to eat some of her breakfast, feeling grateful for Ariel.
The next installment will be published on the first Monday of next month.
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I like it , did this happen at a church meeting?